The last few days have been extra challenging for me. I’ve had 8AM-8PM classes that left me exhausted. I am sick with cough and cold. My head feels like I’m carrying an extra pound between my shoulders. Yet, I had to drag myself and go to school.
There have been some internal chaos as well. My sense of compassion has been put to test but leaned towards failing. Such internal battle, more than anything, left me paralyzed I ended up wasting precious time which I should have devoted to studying for next week’s final exams.
In my hopes to catch up with studies, I came to this coffee shop early. I’d probably be here for the rest of the day. The café just opened. I am their first customer. When I entered, I was greeted by worship songs so familiar every beat of my heart knows the lyrics. After giving my order, I sat in a corner and just let the music soothe my soul.
I am not an atheist because I still believe in a power greater than anything that’s holding up the universe. However, for several years now I stopped associating myself with any religion though I was born and baptized as a Roman Catholic. I evolved into a being that values spirituality more than religiosity. Besides, all religious teachings boil down to the same values of love, respect, compassion and so on.
So, I am doing away with the religious practices. I don’t go to any mass, albeit I try as best I can to manifest my spirituality through my actions towards others. Right now though, these Christian songs touched me in an oh so familiar way. My restless soul suddenly calmed down as if a storm had just stopped and everything around is quiet.
It’s a feeling I don’t want to interpret or analyze using my religious skeptic mind. I just want to savor the moment while it lasts.