Expectations are futile

Expectations

It hurts when our expectations go in vain. But when the table is turned around and we are the ones being subjected to a certain degree of expectation we cannot meet, it hurts just the same.

Indeed, every individual is unique and different. Some things may just be okay for us and yet others may see them as wrong. We can never fully put ourselves into another person’s shoes. We can never fully feel what the other person is feeling nor see things exactly as they see them.

It is futile to suffer because we cannot wholly understand someone the same way as it is futile to agonize over not being completely understood.

In the end, it is really just a matter of letting go… letting go of expectations including the expectation to be understood.


A motivation that came with a cake

Green tea cake life quoteOne of my favorite moments is having a cup of coffee or tea with a good book or over a good conversation.

This afternoon the sun was blazing like fire so I had a cold banana milk instead in a cute vintage-style café with my Irish friend. We talked about random things as well as how uncertainty could cripple some of our dreams.

A lot of people got stuck in their comfort zones because going to another country or getting a different job creates a jumbled image of the future. While she savored the adventure and lessons that came with living for a year in Thailand, her friend remained in Ireland doing the same partime job which will lead her to who knows where.

Staying in the same place or doing the same thing doesn’t give us certainty of the future. If one is happy with where s/he is and what s/he does, surely it is more than right to stay but being unhappy is a different case; something needs to change.

Stories about people losing their job or business in one blink isn’t something new. And while those people felt their future was secured, circumstances led them to a quandary. If we haven’t figured it out yet, at some point we should open our minds to the universal fact that nothing is certain in the future.

Life is fleeting to spend it doing the things that aren’t making us happy or not enabling us reach our full potential just because we are scared of change. As I looked back on my past decisions, I was happy to share with her that back then I just did what I wanted to do – came to Thailand without knowing what is in store for me – and that leap of faith brought me experiences I could have only dreamt of had I chosen to stay. This saying that came with our green tea cake motivated me once again to take risks and face life’s uncertainties head on.


Eulogy for an alive me

The O-C in me is striking again. Good thing it struck at the right time when I am on a 2-week vacation I call ‘sanity leave’ that includes body and mind detox. It is also my attempt at slowing down my pace and take some quiet moments to reflect and reorganize my life. While writing this, I can hear the chirping birds. From the glass window I can see a grass-covered barren land, a concrete fence and behind it lies a vast rice field. Two hours from now, I will see the huge blazing golden sunset without moving an inch. I remember Cecil Frances Alexander’s All Things Bright and Beautiful.

Back to my being O-C, part of my ‘life detox’ is the literal de-cluttering of my physical surrounding and online existence — id est inbox clean up. It is both an amusing and gruesome process, you know what I mean. But to my surprise, I found an email from a very dear friend sent for my birthday. I am the self-proclaimed ambassadress of the cliché “Never leave words and unsaid and things undone” so I always make it a point to tell people how much I appreciate them. So, imagine getting one for myself! Reminds me of the ‘living funeral’ concept from the book Tuesdays with Morrie.

While her compliments rub my ego, it is her words of wisdom that struck me most. Thank you so much Ate Bing!

This statue is named Fonske or Fons Sapientiae which means "fountain of wisdom" I took this in Belgium, Ate Bing's favorite place on earth :)

This statue is named Fonske or Fons Sapientiae which means “fountain of wisdom” I took this in Belgium, Ate Bing’s favorite place on earth 🙂

Who is Mary Antonette Abello?

“Tonet/Tonyang as most of her friends call her is my Bunso’s (younger sister) close friend from college years. Honestly, I don’t know her personally. I mean I just get acquainted with her through my sister, met her along Visca, or at home as they often visit my sis. I did not really had a serious “get to know each” other bonding time with her, just some casual “Hi Ate, Hi Tonet” moments. But then she treated me like her elder sister (well most of them from their barkada). She’s someone whom I can literally consider as a “small but terrible person”. When I say terrible, not the negative definition but rather the “just simply amazing”. A far-fetched writer whom she compelled heavy emotions beyond her thoughts and ideas. Her works inspire awe the imagination of each and every line she wrote. And I can see a good future from her writing skill. A gifted child, God-fearing, a responsible daughter, friend/girlfriend, and a dear sister to all she cared. She had this feel for those who are in need, thus her heart goes for social and developmental works. I really admire her from where and how she become right now. She may be weak in some point but her being independent makes me think of how brave she is.

Now, in your 25th birthday Tonet, I would like to take this opportunity to thank you very much for always lending me your ears…I know sometimes you might be fed up with me, but still you never left me and always been there whenever I needed the most. It means a lot to me. Your are reaching a quarter of your life, you’ve got a long way and I am so proud of you. Always remember that life is not easy but it is beautiful despite its imperfections. Meeting you makes it even more beautiful. Such an extraordinary care you had for me and I really appreciate it. I am not good in words really, but OUR FATHER knew how blessed and thankful I am to have a sister in you. You are a big part of my journey. I know you know that. I love you Tonet. Just keep up what you have, always believe in yourself and continue to do your passion. Be thankful for you are truly blessed. When in down, don’t let that feeling push you even down to the bottom, instead, think of how blessed you are. There is always a way to make yourself happy and satisfied…HAPPINESS is a choice. If you think you’re not appreciated or you’ve not done your best, you’re wrong, because here I am who always admire you and you never knew how much you’d helped me. Just continue to be a blessing to others and bring SMILE to everyone you encounter. Be Blessed always. Happy Happy birthday! Another year is blessed for you to enjoy life. Take care.”