Tag Archive | Moving on

If life is a backpack and a long train ride

It’s always hard to say goodbye to people who have already become a part of us. But our sadness for the inevitable separation will never conceal the fact that we all have to go on with our life. Following is a message I wrote for a colleague who will embark into a new career venture.

Sometimes life would seem like a long, solo train ride. We’d never get to choose who to sit beside with. Strangers would pop in at random stops. Some of them would stir our stillness making us wish they’d get off soon enough. But, there are also those whose presence turns a dreary journey fun-filled. A little glimpse of their life would show us a world different from our own, then we’ll never look at some things the same way again. Their simple gestures of benevolence would somehow ease the weariness of our meandering soul. And when parting time comes their waves of goodbye would sprinkle hopes that one day our paths will cross again. We’d sit back, sigh and smile at what’s left; wonderful memories to reminisce.

The time you’ve shared with us no matter how short were precious moments that we can never trade for something else. Thank you for the friendship. We wish you all the best in your new journey. Sayonara, until we meet each other again.

On his last day in the office, he shared this video which has a very deep message that I ended up contemplating after watching.

Letting go and moving on

To love and to be loved can be the most wonderful feeling we can experience. No amount of joy can surpass the happiness that we feel when we are in the arms of the person we love the most. When we are in love, it seems that everything in our life is fine, that everything is on its place. A state of equilibrium and high morale will engulf our whole being.

Somewhere along the way, destiny can be so cruel and take away the person that makes each day of our life a fairytale. Our world would start to turn upside down and we just find ourselves empty and broken. Myriads of things would start pouring into our minds but at the end of the day we are left with the hardest to answer “how could these things happen?” or “where do I start from here?”.

When it comes to love, each of us can has our different story to tell. Nonetheless, all of us can be on the same predicament, which is finding the strength to let go of the feelings that we can’t live without. Though there were those who are able to find their way out of the melancholy of emptiness and despair, many are still trapped or even buried in the tormenting agony of accepting their destiny and learn to let go. Here are a few ways to get over the pain which will hopefully help you move on.

Dwell in the past. Yes, I’ve said it, dwell in the past and let yourself reminisce each moment you’ve spent together. Ironic isn’t it? But sometimes it’s only through allowing ourselves to find painful joy in the broken pieces of our past that we can start to feel tired and willingly wave our hands and give up. When that happens, we can start the next step towards totally letting go. After all, suppressing our feelings and holding back the tears are bad to our nervous system 😛

Commit to accept. It is pointless to say you gave up and after a few days you start to dwell in the past again. You have to decide whether you want your life to be miserable forever by living with the past or start again and find joy. Once you’ve decided, you need to commit to yourself that you will accept your fate. Total acceptance will allow your state of mind to focus on moving on instead of holding on. This will help you learn to appreciate the brighter side of things and eventually lead you to a new dimension in life.

Plan, plan, plan. Divert your mind by planning out a lot of things, things that can keep you busy or excited. Having something to look forward can plant a seed of happiness into your heart. Indulge yourself into activities that you seldom do. Join a charity group, volunteer, engage into sports, adventure trips, organize events, there are a lot to do out there. Doing worthwhile things and the sense of accomplishment you acquire from it will surely pep up your life.

Love yourself. Sometimes, when we fall in love, we tend to neglect ourselves, our personal goals and plans because every move we make seems to consider our beloved. Now is the right time to contemplate on what you really want to do with your life, what you wanted to attain. It is through loving ourselves and getting to know ourselves even more that we can start to move out from the doomed world that covered us. It is through loving ourselves that we can start to find the light again and start a new life filled with excitement, happiness and hope.

I wrote this back in 2009 at Helium which ranked first out of 43 articles on the same topic (as of 1 March 2012). The ranking changes depending on the ratings of other writers. Check the original post here.

The Living Dead

For almost 25 years of my existence, I’ve been to many places and met people from various races. I’ve had the chance to witness how people from different walks of life live.

I’ve heard people whispered their dreams to the wind and how they let those dreams disappear with just one blow. I’ve watched people fought hard battles; determined to win and reach their aspirations.

I’ve seen people try to win the heart of the one they love. However, as fate would have it, not all gets the chance to be loved in return. This causes most people become bitter and broken.

People live their life in different ways and in different circumstances. This is the beauty and art of life, no two individuals have exactly the same story.

But, if we try to look deep within each person, there is something common in most, if not all, of us; we are like a living dead.

Most of us spend our days full of illusions and dreams. This hinder us from appreciating the present moment and the fulfillment and joy it brings.

Many of us are trapped in the past. We spend our days full of regrets and resentment. We allow our past to ruin our present and what we could have become in the future.

Some of us spend our days worrying for the future. We spend our time worrying how we may survive in the coming days or how we can realize our dreams without even trying to think how we can make each day the best day of our life.

Living in the past and worrying for the future make us a living dead.

We go to work, talk to people, try to get busy and accomplish something but at the end of the day, we go home and lay in bed exhausted, unhappy and discontented. If we try to think over the days spent, perhaps we can only count those days when we feel really happy and contented.

Let’s not wait for the time when we reach life’s twilight; when our time on earth is almost over. Many people only realize what matters most in their life when they are about to die.

Many have reached their dreams only to realize they are not the things that can make them happy. And the sad thing is that, they’ve already lost the most valuable jewels in their life for the sake of those dreams.

Life is fleeting. Let us make the most of our days with people who truly matter to us. Regretting the past and worrying for the future is just a waste of time. It doesn’t help us in living the present to its fullest.

After all, life is not about how many mountains we’ve climbed but how many wonderful memories we’ve created along the way with the people we love.