Tag Archive | unreciprocated love

Withering plants and relationships taken for granted


My weekend was spent mostly cleaning my room, doing the laundry and reorganizing some stuff. Little did I know it will lead me to a more profound lesson.

While mopping my veranda, I noticed that one of my potted plants died. The other three were wilting. It must be because they don’t have enough soil and the weather is too hot these days. To keep the rest from dying, I uprooted the dead one and put its soil unto the other pots then watered the plants.

This is not the first time I had a plant die because I did not have time to nurture them. I always forget to water them even if I can see them every time I go out of my room. Whenever I remember, I just pour water on them without really giving it extra care like sprinkling the water and cultivating the soil.

While I was filling the other plants with soil, I realized that it is actually a good analogy of how we sometimes treat our relationships be it with a lover, family or friends.

Sometimes, we take people and relationships for granted because we know they are just there. Sometimes we don’t make that extra effort to reach out to them because we are too busy with other things. And when we do, we do it just for the sake of doing it — talk for the sake of talking — without really giving our all. And we may not be aware but they do notice it. They know when we are not paying attention or we are distracted.

Like plants, relationships should be nurtured and cared for it to thrive. If we continue to take it for granted, it will gradually wither and eventually die. If you see it withering you are lucky, you still have the chance to save it. But what if it’s already dead?

Letting go and moving on

To love and to be loved can be the most wonderful feeling we can experience. No amount of joy can surpass the happiness that we feel when we are in the arms of the person we love the most. When we are in love, it seems that everything in our life is fine, that everything is on its place. A state of equilibrium and high morale will engulf our whole being.

Somewhere along the way, destiny can be so cruel and take away the person that makes each day of our life a fairytale. Our world would start to turn upside down and we just find ourselves empty and broken. Myriads of things would start pouring into our minds but at the end of the day we are left with the hardest to answer “how could these things happen?” or “where do I start from here?”.

When it comes to love, each of us can has our different story to tell. Nonetheless, all of us can be on the same predicament, which is finding the strength to let go of the feelings that we can’t live without. Though there were those who are able to find their way out of the melancholy of emptiness and despair, many are still trapped or even buried in the tormenting agony of accepting their destiny and learn to let go. Here are a few ways to get over the pain which will hopefully help you move on.

Dwell in the past. Yes, I’ve said it, dwell in the past and let yourself reminisce each moment you’ve spent together. Ironic isn’t it? But sometimes it’s only through allowing ourselves to find painful joy in the broken pieces of our past that we can start to feel tired and willingly wave our hands and give up. When that happens, we can start the next step towards totally letting go. After all, suppressing our feelings and holding back the tears are bad to our nervous system 😛

Commit to accept. It is pointless to say you gave up and after a few days you start to dwell in the past again. You have to decide whether you want your life to be miserable forever by living with the past or start again and find joy. Once you’ve decided, you need to commit to yourself that you will accept your fate. Total acceptance will allow your state of mind to focus on moving on instead of holding on. This will help you learn to appreciate the brighter side of things and eventually lead you to a new dimension in life.

Plan, plan, plan. Divert your mind by planning out a lot of things, things that can keep you busy or excited. Having something to look forward can plant a seed of happiness into your heart. Indulge yourself into activities that you seldom do. Join a charity group, volunteer, engage into sports, adventure trips, organize events, there are a lot to do out there. Doing worthwhile things and the sense of accomplishment you acquire from it will surely pep up your life.

Love yourself. Sometimes, when we fall in love, we tend to neglect ourselves, our personal goals and plans because every move we make seems to consider our beloved. Now is the right time to contemplate on what you really want to do with your life, what you wanted to attain. It is through loving ourselves and getting to know ourselves even more that we can start to move out from the doomed world that covered us. It is through loving ourselves that we can start to find the light again and start a new life filled with excitement, happiness and hope.

I wrote this back in 2009 at Helium which ranked first out of 43 articles on the same topic (as of 1 March 2012). The ranking changes depending on the ratings of other writers. Check the original post here.

Embers of love

In the huge canvass of the creative world there exist an artist who, for just one reason, creates masterpieces that will convey the immensity of her feelings for the one who made her see the beauty of existence and the joy of living.

She gladly embraces appreciation and awe from everyone, from everyone but one, for the man whom she dedicated them all does not even realize they exist.

Even so, she continues to transform her silenced affection into magnificent works of art hoping that one day, someday, they will tell the story of a one true love that endured the cruel fate of being unrequited.